About Being Afraid

in Mindset

About Being Afraid

Most of the things in life are scary.

When they are new or when the stakes are high, those are the moments in which you wish you were in the comfort of your home, watching Netflix.

Doing what scares you the most.

There, the definition of manliness.

I was watching episode 9 of season 6 of Game of Thrones and *SPOILER ALERT*, you see these men going to fight a war that clearly have no chance of winning. Furthermore, the enemy they are going to fight against is a note sadist, so yeah, not really a ride at the park.

Yet, you see these men going to the war, standing there ready with the best they can offer. Either that or death.

Whenever You Don’t Feel Like It, You Know You Should

Now, let’s shift perspective towards a situation where the stakes are disproportionally lower.

Say that today you don’t feel like training. You’re tired, you had a bad night of sleep, shit is going down at work, you have the heaviest set of squat of your life coincidentally tonight.

You have two options: 1) skip the workout and wait for better circumstances; 2) do it anyway with the best you can.

Let’s see what each option entails a la “Sliding Doors”.

Option 1: Despite All The Odds

You decide to go to the gym, you feel like the worse in months and you just don’t wanna talk to anyone. You are hating yourself for not being home right now relaxing on your couch.

“Why am I doing this anyway?!” – your mind keeps repeating

And yet you proceed to change clothes and get ready to perform the set you are supposed to. In the meantime, you are hating the entire world around you and your lungs just wanting to scream out.

You do your first set.

No matter if you failed it or made it something suddenly snaps inside you.

You can almost feel your brain getting a cold shower.


Your senses awaken, everything becomes more vibrant, you feel like waking up after a long bad sleep. You keep doing your sets, tired but happy and with an improved mood.

Not only you did something you didn’t want to do, you also feel great now!

You don’t know it yet but you built discipline.

Discipline is stronger than motivation.
Because discipline will make you always show up anyway.

And showing up is 90% of success.

You’ve been a man: you showed up for your duty even though the chances of success were pretty low. But think about it. You are not going to a war, you’re going to a gym.

What’s the worst thing that can happen? You miss your rep target. Too bad, you’ll try again next time.

Your ego can easily heal from that.

Yes, because the problem is that we desperately don’t want to hurt our egos.

That’s who we are. We lift a lot of weight, we are not pussies, right? Bullshit. Tell your ego to fuck off and be realistic with what you have.

If there is a lesson I learned in my life so far is: stop defining your success with what others think success is.

You showed up when all the odds were against you. Congratulations, that’s a goodamn success.

Option 2: Do You Want Some Cream On That Too?

Now let’s see the other option.
You decide to skip the workout and stay in, in the comfort of your home warm and safe. You say to yourself: “I would have had a shitty workout anyway, I better stay here and enjoy myself”.

Hence you proceed doing comfort zone things as watching the TV, reading a book, etc. Nothing against these activities, let this be clear. Everyone needs winding-down time and I am one of those.

The problem here is that you are not growing.

And I’m not talking only about muscle growth which ofc is not happening by not lifting.

I mean you are not growing as a human being.

You are not pushing your limits.

You decided to withdraw from the action that looked too scary.

In the past, you would have been called “coward”. I’m sorry to bring this down to you but that really is what it is.

You will also be building the wrong mindset of avoiding what scares you.

If you can’t face something as minimal as a gym session, how are you going to react to bigger and more challenging situations life is going to throw at you?

Are you going to back off and run away? Are you going to wait for others to take the lead? This is what a sheep does, not a lion.

The real man faces challenges and tackles them head down. There’s no backing off.

That’s why I believe is very important that every man should train at a gym be it as lifting weights or doing martial arts or any other scary activities. They prime you for the real world, for life.

Giving your gift to the world with knowing your fears but standing at the edge of it anyway is what you were meant to be here, don’t waste it.

If you like this post click on the Facebook like button below and let me know in the comments below: “when was the last time you were scared and you did it anyway?”

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P.S. If you want to be coached by me and you are badass, committed af and ready to change your life, send me an email to alex@www.thebroscientist.com. I take on only the most motivated and serious people so if you are not like that, don't contact me please.